Am I living or just existing

Am I really living or am I merely existing? I have been thinking about my life this week. About my time, and my families time. I have been trying to examine my heart to figure out if the things that occupy my time are things that align with my ultimate goals in life. I have been trying to decide what is the clear purpose for my life. I am working towards a purpose driven simplicity for our family. I'll elaborate. I want my life's goals to be aligned in such a way that they are all working for one and other instead of working against one and other. for example this year Andrew and I already have a list of goals for the coming year we have dreams of vacations, what we want to do with the house, fitness goals, spiritual goals, and what we want to do with our free time. But those goals are just noise unless they align with our overall personal goals. For me I would say my overall goals for my life, are to be a dedicated disciple of Christ, be the best wife and mother I am capable of being, to home school my children to the best of my ability, to be physically fit throughout my life, and to be the be the best I can be for my friends and extended family. 

This last year we have gotten involved in a lot of things. A lot of good things, but they have kept us very, very busy. It makes it hard to stay focused on the overall goals when you are just trying to keep up with the everyday. There have been many moments throughout this year I have felt like I am merely existing, I'm not living. I am barley hanging on. Thus my overall goal for the next year is to steadily align my life better with these goals. and to cut out the rest of the "noise" that is in there that doesn't align with these goals. 

In a beautiful way the new year is so cleansing, it is a time to look back, a time to reflect on the good and the bad. the highlights of 2017 Andrew starting his new job which he loves, Visiting fairy tale town, and the Sacramento zoo, camping, bringing piper home and training her, Starting a small group, Andrew finding a passion for lifting, Andrew finishing a century on his bike, Jolene placing 3rd in her division on her first 10k trail race,  Boating up at the lake, tons of photo shoots, Madeline learning the alphabet, counting, how to write her name, and her amazing Moana birthday party, Melody can talk, climbs on everything, and her amazing dog party, we made some amazing new friendships, found new passions and learned bunches of new ways to cook with going gluten free, and learning to smoke meat! But along with all of that there have been hard things like Hernia repair surgery (Which I am doing much better by the way), Our street being flooded and unable to get home (luckily it didn't get the house, and we stayed with some awesome friends), Having to cut down a pine tree in the back yard, and having to say goodbye to our wonderful dog Goucho. 

God truly helps us flourish in the midst of living life. How even in the midst of existing we are also living. It is truly a choice to remember the good, to live in the joyful moments, and to learn how to get through the not so joyful moments. 

This year my hope and prayer for my family as well as for you and yours is that we find a way to align our lives with the goals we find important, that we would truly choose to live our lives, not just exist.That we would search and find the joy in every moment. That each and every one of us would really find peace in knowing that what will be, is in God's control. May each of us truly live this year!